Dear All,

I'm sending mildly desperate chain mails like this one all over the shop to see if anyone knows of a good summer job for this July 3rd - mid Sept.

My turbostudio is being dismantled and then rehoused in this time, so there's no music to stay in Bristol for. The idea was to hit Cornwall and do something brain dead, but I think I'll need to get more cash together than that, so the option is to go anywhere in Europe and work in pref. well-paid (£6+ph), mildly enjoyable, outdoors job, with a community of people attached to it which may or may not include a seething pool of nubile yet intelligent females with coursing manes of chestnut hair. Actually perhaps I should try being a horseriding instructor. But I've never driven a horse.

I can do all sporty stuff; sales (but only as an element, not doorknocking purleeze); bar/restaurant/mythical surf shack selling smoothies and the like/ cateringesque; anything to do with words and the twisting of them for personal gain (hence sales); music obviously; brazen schmoozing and PR-ish charming of the innocent out of their wages/pensions; gardening in an informal, blatantly under-qualified way; Palm-reading, Feng Shui consultancy, I Ching and other means of prising the folding stuff from the terminally gullible; other unspecified expressions of chicanery, bootlegging, fraud and non-violent robbery.

My CV is nowhere, obviously, and the environment is the thing - so a dullish bar job in gazing distance of the Matterhorn/a nubile horse would be preferable to a well-paid City of London filing clerk post. On-site or close-by free accomm. is a big pull - camping fine if in warm place.

I'm asking with a pretty please that you send this on to anyone you know who might know of something going. I'm uncontactable except for e-mail since Mike wrenched all telecommunications from 46B Cotham Road, though if you are especially saint-like (or calling from work) then Mike's old pager is now in my hands: 07666 831197. Many thanks and have a good summer yourselves - Tom

P.S. If you go www.turbotrax.co.uk you can listen to all of our tunes for free, on Real Audio and the other, crapper system.